A Cold Dish
by Lord Raa
Summary: A dark drama with a touch of angst from your fiend, Lord Raa. Not my usual light-hearted silliness.
1. Default Chapter

A Cold Dish

By Lord Raa

Part one

#######

Disclaim-me-do: Let me give you a tickle with my little golden trickle.

This story will contain "adult material". This means rude words, scenes of a sexual nature, questionable behaviour and things that are generally unpleasant.

If such things are likely to offend you, then please move along, as this is not the fic you're looking for.

This is also my first attempt at such a story. So be nice: give constructive criticism in any reviews or email. I think that this counts as a fair warning.

#######

Ranma Saotome sat stunned as the doctors told him that the coma his father was in was likely one he would not recover from.

"Pops..." he murmured.

A knock on the door to his room alerted the young man to the presence of another visitor.

"Excuse me, but I was told that I could find Ranma Saotome here."

Ranma looked blankly at the man. "Who are you?"

"I'm Daisuke Morita," the man bowed to Ranma as he introduced himself.

"Is this important? I've got a bit of a family crisis here," the pigtailed boy gestured to the beds either side of him.

"I'm sorry but I'm your father-in-law."

"That's not funny."

"It wasn't meant to be a joke son. I arranged your marriage with my daughter three weeks ago," Daisuke explained.

Ranma turned to his mother and ever so gently shook her to wake her. "Mom, this guy says he arranged a marriage three weeks ago. You know anything about it?"

Nodoka, as one of the quicker witted members of the Saotome family, was able to respond quickly. "No. Your father only arranged marriages before I met up with him again. In fact I threatened him with a steel enema if he tried it again."

Ranma turned to the newly arrived man.

"I did not speak with this man," he gestured at Genma. "I spoke with a Miss Nabiki Tendo."

Ranma's face hardened. "I see. Well as the Tendo family don't decide that sort of thing for me, the agreement is worthless."

"They said that they did and that you might be a little reluctant, but I had no idea that you would put up such a struggle."

Ranma stood and looked the man in the eye. "Yesterday I was gonna marry Akane Tendo. Now you're telling me that they sold me off?"

"That's not what happened!" Morita protested.

"Go. Now. Unless you want a stay here in the hospital," Ranma "suggested" as he clenched his fists, causing his knuckles to pop.

Not knowing what else to do, the man left Ranma and his family.

Nodoka was kept awake by the question "Mom, what should I do?"

"We're only here because of the Tendos. Ah," she winced in pain.

"Mom!"

"I'm sorry son, but I do not have much time left. Find out what happened at the wedding and do what you must to make things right. If anyone did anything wrong, then make them pay. Remember what school you study..." she drifted off as she fell unconscious.

"I will Mom, I will," Ranma vowed.

Leaving his mother to get some much needed rest, Ranma went to find out what he could about the incident that hospitalised his family.

#######

Back at the Tendo house, Soun was speaking to his family. "I think that it is now time for us to draw a line under the time the Saotomes spent here."

His daughters nodded in agreement. While their lives had been "enriched" by Ranma's antics, they had now become tiresome. Even Akane wasn't making as much fuss as she pretended to be jealous about Ranma's womanising.

"What are we going to do about my plan?" Nabiki asked. "The Morita family will be arriving soon. Normally we'd just have some stupid martial arts challenge and Ranma would be back here to be sold out again. Now that the jerk's not here, we've got a problem."

"We put a spin on the truth," Soun replied. "That there's been a medical emergency in the Saotome family and tell them to go to the hospital to pick up Ranma. Ranma will argue with his father and either go with them or cause a commotion. He and his father will get into trouble with the authorities and Nodoka will kill herself to save face. That should be the last we hear of that family of freeloading freaks."

Deeming the matter closed, Soun rose from the table and headed out for some sake.

Unbeknownst to the Tendo family, their plan had been derailed by the early arrival of Daisuke Morita.

#######

Ranma flicked through the police report on the wedding fiasco. It seemed that exploding food and people with the ability to burst through walls like they were wet paper bags had showered his parents with debris. He winced in sympathy as he saw a bloodied piece of piping in the photos of the aftermath.

What the report didn't say was why these other martial artists with a vested interested on who married whom were doing there.

He had a good idea on that one, but needed to confirm his suspicions.

"I need to see Ukyo."

#######

As Ranma bounded across the rooftops of Nerima, he thought about the questions he should be asking his "old friend".

Landing quietly, he tried to open the door, but found it to be locked. Knocking on the door, he tried to get the occupant's attention.

When the door opened slightly, Konatsu was unprepared for the identity of the visitor.

"Ranma-sama! What are you doing here?"

"I need answers. Is Ukyo in?" Ranma plainly stated.

"Now is not the best of times," the crossdresser politely tried to turn the cursed martial artist away.

"Now is exactly the right time!" Ranma insisted.

"You'll have to come back later." Konatsu readied a weapon in case Ranma decided to do anything rash.

Ranma decided to do something rash – he tore the door off the rails.

"I want to see Ukyo!" Ranma nearly shouted at the poor boy in front of him.

Barging past, Ranma made his way to where Ukyo lived in her restaurant.

Ukyo was surprised to see Ranma standing in the doorway to her bedroom.

"Ranchan?"

"How did you know about the wedding?" Ranma demanded.

"What?" Ukyo was confused by the question. She'd been expecting Ranma to say something else completely.

"How. Did. You. Know. About. The. Wedding?" he asked patronisingly.

"I got an invitation from Nabiki. Why?"

"My folks are in the hospital. It's not looking good," Ranma explained. "I'm trying to find out what happened."

"I'm sorry Ranchan, I didn't want you marrying anybody else," Ukyo confessed as she got up to hug her fiancé.

"I ain't marrying anyone right now. It probably ain't gonna be any of you fuckers from Nerima," Ranma callously dismissed the chef's feelings.

"Besides, what kind of person would I be if I married someone who assisted in my mom's ruptured spleen?" he added as he left for the Nekohanten.

#######

The doorbell rang and Shampoo answered with a half-hearted "Nihao" but didn't look up from her book.

"I need to speak with you," a voice called out across the empty café.

"Airen?"

"No. Not your Airen. Not now, not ever, Shampoo. What happened at the wedding? How did you find out about it?"

Shampoo was taken aback by this. "Sneaky girl tell Shampoo and Shampoo save Air- Ranma from kitchen destroyer."

"Really? And what about the rubble that hospitalised my parents?"

"That was an accident, Son-in-law," Cologne pointed out.

"You're the second person to call me that today. Turns out that the Tendos have sold me out. Again."

Cologne sat down at a nearby free table and pointed at the chair opposite her. "Sounds like you want revenge. You should be careful, or it will lead to your downfall. Look at Ryoga."

"No shit, Zenigata."

Cologne bopped Ranma on the head with her cane.

"You hit me with that stick again, and you better make sure I don't get up ever again," was the warning from the heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes. "I ain't in the mood for your shit. I want an answer here and now: is there a cure for Jusenkyo or not?"

Cologne nodded. "Yes there is. What are you offering for it?"

"Well, I was thinking that it might be nice as payment for saving your village for Saffron. Or Shampoo from the Ghost C-c-c-cat."

Cologne didn't like this new Ranma. 'He hasn't used force as a threat yet.'

"Besides, from what the police reports say," Ranma leaned back on his chair, "there were martial artists that matched the descriptions of Mousse and Shampoo at the scene of where my folks were hurt. I'd hate for the police investigation to delay your departure back to China. "

"Alright, there is one way: you use some instant Nannichuan and Herb's locking ladle. What are you going to do now?"

"Well, I'm going to get cured, train and plot my revenge. I will make everyone responsible for my parents' injuries pay," Ranma said as he stood to leave.

"Wait," Cologne stopped him before he left. "Here use this," she tossed him a few packets of instant Nannichuan. "You may need to bargain with Herb."

"Thanks, Cologne. Don't take this the wrong way, but I hope I don't see you again," Ranma bowed slightly before continuing on his way back to the hospital.

#######

Dr. Sato was explaining to Nodoka what had happened to her husband. "I'm sorry Mrs. Saotome, but your husband has passed on."

"How?" Nodoka asked, managing not to break down in tears.

"The kidney that wasn't punctured in the accident failed. If he had been admitted earlier, then his chances would have been better." The doctor was apologetic.

Nodoka nodded as best she could.

Ranma entered the room after knocking on the door.

"Hi there doc, is everything ok?"

"I'm very sorry young man, but your father passed away a few minutes ago."

"He, he what?" Ranma asked, shocked.

"Ranma, your father is dead," Nodoka told her son.

Ranma fell into an empty visitor's chair. "All I had for ten years was Pops."

The doctor bowed before leaving the distraught family.

"Mom, I found out how the others knew about the wedding – Nabiki sold me out."

Nodoka showed her displeasure with a loud sigh. "I see. Ranma, my son, I have one last request."

Ranma literally flew to his mother's side. "Anything."

"Make them pay – don't kill them, humiliate them like they have done to us. Avenge your clan using this one rule – Anything Goes."

"Yes Mother," Ranma bowed.

Nodoka smiled before closing her eyes for the last time.

Ranma kissed his mother on the forehead. "I'll make them pay, Mother."

#######

Six months later, Ranma returned to Nerima, his features hardened through the months of training and preparation.

"I hope that you had fun while I was gone, it's my turn now."

#######

To be continued...?

This chapter was pre-read and vaguely approved by the following three people: Taxzombie, Chi Vayne and Ghost in the Machine.

Bonus points if you can guess the source of the disclaimer.

If you want more of this, then please let me know.

My email address is lordraa(at)digitalpimp(dot)co(dot)uk – I think that you can figure out what to do.

Until the next time I post something.


	2. Part 2

A Cold Dish

By Lord Raa

* * *

Part two

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: Artistic integrity? I've heard of it. 

Buoyed by the response I received for the last chapter, I have decided to continue this little literary experiment. I shall endeavour to keep you entertained with this somewhat darker then normal tale (for me, at least).

Remember that this will contain "adult" material.

* * *

Invoking the "way of the silent thief", Ranma decided to scope out any changes that had occurred in Nerima since he left. On his casual stroll, he was surprised to find the Ucchan's still open for business as usual.

'Hmm, I wonder what she's up to?' he asked himself.

Slipping around the back of the restaurant, he made his way into one of his previously favourite places to eat. He peeked through the curtains and saw the familiar furnishings and customers.

The place was looking like it had been doing well in terms of custom, though that was more than could be said for the proprietor. Ukyo, having remembered Ranma's words before he seemingly fell off the face of the Earth, had thrown herself into her work. She looked like she could use a rest from the restaurant business – the idea of cooking for others was becoming less appealing as time went on and that was coming across in the slowly declining quality of the food.

The chef's complexion was a tired one. The lack of make up and general skin care regimen was indicative that the restaurant was all she had left, and judging by the way she bid farewell to the last of her customers, the Ucchan's was becoming far too much of a chore to be worth the effort to continue for much longer.

Ranma didn't know how to take this. He'd half expected Ukyo to move on with her life or be happy that he'd disappeared. Anything but her being the shell of the perky girl that was his friend from his old life.

Waiting for the girl to lock up the premises, Ranma slipped behind Ukyo and froze her muscles with a series of shiatsu pressure points.

"What's going on her? Who's in here with me?" she demanded from the apparently empty room.

Ranma came into view in front of the increasingly anxious girl.

"Hello there."

"Ranma..." Ukyo looked at the harsh features of the young man in front of her. Gone was the innocence of the pigtailed boy that vanished so dramatically.

"Yes. Since I was back in the neighbourhood, I thought I'd pop by," Ranma explained as he pulled up a chair and sat in plain view of the visibly shaken girl.

"How – how are your parents?" she asked, remembering why her former fiancé had dismissed her when they last spoke.

"You don't know?" Ranma asked, managing to hide his emotions well.

"I tried to visit them in the hospital, but they said that there were no patients under the name Saotome. Did you move them to another hospital?"

Ranma stood and looked his old friend in the eye.

"Just what makes you think that we're friendly enough to discuss my parents?"

Ukyo flinched away as best she could with her body immobilised.

"You caused the rubble to fall on my mother."

"I didn't mean for anybody to get hurt, Ranma," Ukyo said in a small and sincere voice.

Ranma seemed to ignore the girl's protestation of innocence. "I promised her that I'd avenge my family using the rule of Anything Goes."

Ukyo started to panic. "What are you going to do?"

"You wanted me dead for betraying you. What do you think a fitting response is for the death of my mother?" Ranma gave an evil smirk.

"She's d-dead?" Ukyo whispered in disbelief.

"Yep. Did you know that some cultures are big believers in the idea of 'an eye for an eye'? Now that does sound tempting when you consider my folks are dead." Ranma took a step closer. "You know what that would mean, don't you?"

Ukyo gulped and nodded.

"How did you know about the wedding?" Ranma asked, seemingly changing the subject.

"I got an invite from Nabiki."

"I remember you saying something about that before I left. What did it say?"

"It said that if wanted a chance to be with you, then I had to break up the wedding," Ukyo confessed. She was somewhat on the back foot thanks to the new reasoning from her old friend.

"I see, so it was all an accident?" Ranma asked, his eyes glinting with a hint of menace.

"I never wanted to hurt your mother, Ranchan."

"Who said you could call me 'Ranchan'?" Ranma asked, this time his eyes glinted with mischief.

"Force of habit, I'm sorry," Ukyo apologised.

"Don't worry, you will be."

Ukyo didn't like the sound of that in the slightest. She had seen some of the things Ranma could do, and if he was so inclined, he could tear her limb from limb without even breaking a sweat. And that was with his "main" arm tied behind his back.

"Ok," Ranma smiled and clapped his childhood friend on the shoulder. Ukyo eyed the contact warily; concerned that she might not make it through the night in one piece.

"If you were manipulated into trying to blow up my wedding, then who pulled the strings?"

"The Tendos – I've seen Akane out walking with boys and smiling like she was never engaged."

Ranma took a deep breath. "I thought so. Well that leaves you with two options."

"And they are?" Ukyo asked, not liking where this seemed to be heading.

"You're with me or against me in my quest for vengeance. Either way you're paying for your part in my family's ending," Ranma explained as he stood behind the paralysed girl.

"Family's ending?" Ukyo stammered out.

"Oh, didn't you know? I'm the last of my bloodline. Why do you think that my mother was hung up about me being a 'man among men'?" Ranma's tone became playful. "I asked her about that damn seppuku pledge; do you know what she said?"

"N-no," Ukyo trembled. 'Where is he going with this?'

"Better to end the line, than to have it continue as a failure. And you know what? She's absolutely right."

"W-what do you mean, Ranma?"

"I've been training to be the best since before I was old enough to write my name," Ranma casually mentioned as he walked around to stand face to face with the distressed girl.

"I was always taught that second place is a fancy name for loser," he added, waving his finger. "This is why there will be no mercy."

"W-what?" Ukyo whimpered, nearly in tears at this new, vengeful and scary Ranma.

"Mercy is for losers. But," he continued, turning away, "I have always been fair."

"Ranma?" Ukyo asked, with the barest hint of hope in her voice.

"You're someone who tracked me down after ten years. You went through all those hardships and never gave up. What happened?" he demanded turning back around to face the girl.

Ukyo just looked blankly at him.

"I'll tell you what happened: you were manipulated by Nabiki and the rest of those fuckers into becoming little more than their puppet. The same thing happened to the Amazons. You need to be avenged yourself and I am offering you the means to do so. You can join me in victory or them in defeat. The choice is yours and yours alone."

Ukyo mulled the idea over. "I tried to kill you, so does that mean I need to get a bodyguard once you've dealt with the Tendos?"

"If I wanted you dead, I'd have disposed of your corpse by now. Remember, I can disembowel people from across the room, leaving no trace of a weapon and disappear like a ghost. I have learned a lot since I left, Ucchan."

Ranma deliberately slipped into his old habit of calling Ukyo by her nickname.

"Y-you called me Ucchan…"

Ranma smiled at his captive audience. "Yes. I always considered you my friend, that's why you get the chance to join the winning team. I'd much rather have my friends at my side than have them cold in the ground," Ranma explained as he put his arm around Ukyo's shoulders.

"Remember, I'm Ranma and I don't lose."

"I'll help you Ranma," Ukyo agreed. "What are you going to do to the Tendos?" she asked, trying to ignore the strange sensations of physical contact with this new Ranma.

Ranma smiled evilly. "That is the fun part."

Ukyo, unable to shiver in fear, grimaced.

"Don't look at me like that, Ucchan. I'm going to give them all a chance to redeem themselves. Except, perhaps, the Kunos – I never did like them."

Ukyo nodded in understanding. Kuno had been an even bigger pain since Ranma had left, claiming victory over the foul sorcerer.

"One last thing before you go to bed – no one, and I mean no one, can know about me being back in Nerima. You have to promise me that you won't tell anyone about my return or plans for revenge. Can you make that promise?"

Ukyo nodded.

"I need to hear the words. If you can't say them, I can make you forget that I was ever here," Ranma insisted, looking Ukyo straight in the eyes.

"I promise that no one will hear about you or your plans from me."

The pigtailed young man smiled as he released the locking pressure points and hitting a few other points. "That's good. Now, let's get you off to bed, we have a lot to discuss in the morning."

* * *

When the morning sunshine filtered through Ukyo's curtains, the young chef stirred slightly. 

Ranma, having decided to sleep in another room, knocked on the door. "Wake up Ucchan."

Upon hearing the wake up call, Ucchan blinked and tried to put together the evening's events. 'That sounds like Ranchan.'

"Ucchan, naked or not, I'm coming in."

"Ok," Ukyo responded as she gathered the sheet around her chest, though it was unnecessary as Ranma had left her in a decent state.

Opening the sliding door, Ranma smiled and sat down on the futon. "So how are you now?"

"I had the best night's rest I've had in a long, long time. Did you do anything to me?"

Ranma nearly took offence at the question, but quickly realised that the chef was not referring to any sexual behaviour. "I massaged some of your relaxation points to help you rest. To be honest, you looked like you needed it."

"Thanks," Ukyo smiled happily back.

"You're taking today off; we have much to talk about. I'll let you wash up while I make some breakfast. Just don't expect anything fancy."

* * *

After a simple breakfast of grilled fish, rice and instant miso soup, Ukyo sat down to inform Ranma of all that had happened during his absence. 

"First thing, where is Konatsu?" Ranma asked.

"He left a few weeks ago to see his family."

"Why'd he do that?" Ranma asked puzzled. "I thought that those assholes treated him like shit?"

Ukyo was used to Ranma using slang, though not the coarse language that now seemed to pepper his rough speech.

"I think that they've fallen ill. I guess that he also thinks that family is important," Ukyo shrugged before realising what she was doing.

Ranma pretended not to notice the gesture before moving on.

"What's Ryoga been up to?"

"That jackass has been wandering around as always. Though he hasn't been trying to date Akane. I think he found a girl to go steady with," Ukyo reasoned.

Ranma snorted. "That idiot? He'd pass out from blood loss the moment he saw her panties. Speaking of which, what's the Old Freak been up to?"

"Nothing much, other than the weekly raids. He stole the last of my panties last month and I haven't bothered to replace them," Ukyo mentioned. She knew that Ranma didn't need further explanation as to why her under garments were for males.

Ranma nodded. "He still at the dojo?"

"I think so. I doubt that Mr. Tendo has the guts to throw him out. I haven't exactly been round there to find out for sure."

"Have you talked to any of the wannabe puppet masters?" Ranma asked, getting up from his seat.

"To be honest, I've tried to avoid them. We never really got on and you know about the damage we caused," the chef explained.

"What did they say about me?" Ranma asked, now pacing.

"They barely acknowledge that you ever existed," Ukyo answered, noting the increased frustration in her friend. "Please don't break anything."

Ranma looked at the whitening knuckles on his now clenched right fist. "I make no guarantees."

"Please don't break anything in here," Ukyo asked again.

Ranma turned to the girl. After a moment, he smiled. Then he sniggered before bursting out into laughter.

"Alright, Ucchan, I won't break any of your furniture. But seriously, have ANY of the Tendos said or done anything to make you think that they're sorry about how they treated me?"

"I honestly don't know, Ranchan," Ukyo apologised. "Like I said, I try to keep away from them."

"Well, then I guess it's up to me to find out," Ranma gave his friend a smirk.

"How will you get into their house?" Ukyo asked.

"The same way I got in here," Ranma answered before shimmering and fading from view.

"I thought that you promised not to use that technique?" Ukyo asked, a little confused.

"I did. I also promised someone who I respected a hell of a lot more than my old man that I would avenge my family," a disembodied voice called out.

"But…" Ukyo was interrupted by a poke in the arm before she could make her point.

"She wanted me to avenge my family using one rule: Anything Goes."

Ukyo knew that the term "Anything Goes" encompassed a lot. To think that this new, angry Ranma had been given carte blanche to avenge his parents' deaths was terrifying.

"Not that I'm anything but grateful, why did you give me the chance join you?"

"That's a very good question," Ranma, replied falling into view in his seat. "While it would be a lot easier to gut you all like fish and then follow my parents into the next world, is it right to kill those that are merely bit part actors in a poorly scripted play?"

"Bit part?" Ukyo was a little indignant at having her relationship with Ranma trivialised so much.

"Oh yeah, to the Tendos, you've never been more than a supporting act," Ranma answered before taking a sip from his drink.

"But why would they treat you so badly?" the chef asked Ranma.

The young man considered this for a moment. "I think that it's because I came in out of nowhere and turned their world upside down. I mean, Akane was the school idol when I first showed up; she was 'the best martial artist in Nerima' and all the guys wanted to date her. I showed her just how much Bokken Brains was holding back and that I was a much better girl, even though I was a guy. It's understandable why they'd be upset, but also a major mistake to allow their need for attention to result in people's deaths."

Ranma held Ukyo's hand in his. "Especially the remaining family of someone who can now cripple a person from 15 metres with empty hands."

"I see," Ukyo nodded. "But that while that explains Akane, what about the rest of the Tendos?"

"Maybe Pops screwed over Mr Tendo once or perhaps they're just complete bastards?" Ranma hazarded, shrugging. "I'll find out their secrets when I check out their house."

"It'll be nice to have some dirt on Nabiki for a change," Ukyo considered.

"That's true. Her days of blackmail will be coming to an end soon enough," Ranma smirked.

"Are you going to turn her in to the cops?" Ukyo asked, enjoying holding hands with her ex-fiancé.

"Where's the fun in that?" Ranma asked. "Remember that one of the elements of Anything Goes is to get enjoyment from what you do. Why'd you think that Pops was greedy any that the Old Freak's a pervert?"

Ukyo remained silent as the words sank in. 'This isn't like Ranchan. Has he turned evil or something?'

"Is something wrong, Ucchan?"

"You seem different, Ranchan. What happened to you while you were away?"

* * *

To be continued…

This chapter was pre-read and VAGUELY approved by Chi Vayne, Ghost in the Machine and Taxzombie.

If there is anything that you feel the need to discuss with me, then drop me a line.

You all should know how to contact me by now.

Until the next time.

PS, I am beginning to hate QuickEdit - I liked my scene breaks they way they were.


	3. Part 3

A Cold Dish

By Lord Raa

Part three

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: Shall we peek through the beef curtains to see what we can see?

* * *

"Did something happen to you while you were away, Ranchan?"

"Yes."

Ukyo blinked at the unhelpful response from her friend. "Are going to explain to your oldest friend?"

Ranma sniffed before rubbing his nose. "Not yet."

"Why?"

"Because you are not ready to know. Besides, how do I know that you're actually with me?" Ranma asked. "You know, 'to the Bitter End'? You have been known to use our friendship to score fiancée points."

Ranma noticed that Ukyo's fear was now clearly visible on her face. He smiled, though it didn't do much to reassure the chef.

He decided to do what he could to make his friend comfortable, "I'll tell you this, Ucchan: the Amazons won't be bothering me anymore."

"W-what did you do to them?" Ukyo hesitantly inquired.

"Nothing much."

"'Nothing much'?" Ukyo repeated in disbelief. "After all the hassle they caused you, you pretty much left them alone?"

"Yep. Oh, didn't I mention that I'm now cured?" Ranma asked, dumping the cold remains of his tea over his arm.

"Cured," Ukyo mumbled while reaching for a paper towel to clean up the mess. "So now you're a guy the whole time?"

"Yep," Ranma answered. He seemed to now like these cryptic answers and that unsettled Ukyo.

"And because they gave you a cure, you've let them go without so much as a beating?" Ukyo seemed angry at this turn of events.

"Nope. I gave Mousse a beat down he won't forget. Ever."

"What makes you say that?"

"I'd like to think that people would remember things like a chair shoved so far up your ass, that you need to have your stomach pumped to have it removed," Ranma casually explained. He noticed the expression on Ucchan's face. "Yes, he had that look on his face, too. But, once I mentioned that he broke up my wedding, the village elders cut me some slack. When I told them that Shampoo was also there to do the same, they started to look a bit upset with me. They still thought that I was going to marry her."

"Then what happened?" Ukyo was now intrigued, in a morbid "train wreck" sort of way.

"I mentioned that I beat Saffron. Now THAT stopped them in their tracks. Cologne pointed out that they'd received a note from Nabiki. I gave them a chance to redeem their tribe in the eyes of an extremely powerful and pissed off foreigner. After all, who's going to miss a tribe that isn't supposed to exist?"

Ukyo nodded in understanding. "So what did they do to save themselves?"

"Special training. I spent four months there, learning what I could. How do you think I knew which points to press to lock up your body?" Ranma smiled.

"Oh, I wondered about that. So you exchanged Shampoo's life for knowledge. What about me? What can I offer you, since you know that the Tendos are responsible for your parents' deaths?" Ukyo asked, now needing to know why she was still unharmed.

"I need a place to stay." Ranma got up to get a fresh pot of tea.

"That's it?" Ukyo asked, not believing what she was hearing.

"Well, I needed to be sure that no one was lying to me, but yeah, I'm mainly using you for a place to crash."

"But what about the promise?" Ukyo asked, now standing behind Ranma.

Ranma turned and looked Ukyo straight in the eye. "Are you telling me that you don't want to get the 'Ice Bitch' back for everything she's done to your best friend?"

"Of course I do!" Ukyo protested.

"Well, my dear Ukyo, when I decide on a suitable punishment for the Tendos, you will understand why this needs to be kept secret," Ranma answered, placing a reassuring hand on Ukyo's shoulder.

"I'm not going to be part of a murder plot, am I?" Ukyo's knees were now shaking. If Ranma wanted to force anyone into doing something, it would be a walk in the park for him.

"No. Not if I can help it. Killing someone changes you forever. I don't want anyone to go through that if I can help it," Ranma answered softly.

"What are you going to do once you've got your revenge?"

"That depends on whether or not I have anything to live for," Ranma replied sadly. "I'm thinking of joining my parents in the next world, once my work here is done."

"I'm going to lose you again, aren't I?" Ukyo asked, though it was mainly to herself.

Ukyo took a step forward and hugged Ranma tightly.

"I haven't decided yet. It all depends on how the Tendos react to my plans," Ranma told his friend. "No plan ever survives contact with the enemy, but I'll tell you this: if it comes down to me or them, then they'll be the ones dead."

"B-but what about me?" Ukyo pondered aloud.

Ranma looked at Ucchan puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"If it turns nasty, will you protect me?" Ukyo asked. "I haven't been training for a while, so I'm a bit out of shape," the chef confessed.

Ranma moved his hands across his friend's body, causing Ukyo to blush.

"Yes, your ass is a bit flabby these days."

"Ranchan!" she squealed, embarrassed but at the same time, a little bit excited by the contact her former fiancé had initiated. "I'm not that kind of girl!"

"You weren't when I left, but you know how things change," Ranma solemnly explained. "When we first met, I didn't think you were any kind of girl," he added with a small laugh.

Ukyo frowned at first, but then smiled at the memory of Ranma's previously clueless nature. "Silly Ranchan."

"Yeah, well I'm not so silly now," Ranma interrupted the girl's reminiscing of days gone by.

Ukyo's smile fell from her face. It had occurred to her that just as when she was forced to grow up following the dishonour that Genma caused her clan, Ranma had been forced to discard the childish innocence that caused many schoolgirls to dream about the pig-tailed boy.

The girl stepped away from Ranma and took a deep breath. "So now what?"

"Well, you call the school to tell them that you won't be in today and I'll search the Tendo's place for clues to tell me which of those fuckers knew what," Ranma replied.

Ukyo looked at the angry young man in front of her, unsure as why he was being so magnanimous with regards to the inhabitants of Nerima. "Why?" she whispered.

Ranma heard this and explained. "That's something you can thank the Amazons for. I'm not going to kill everybody that accidentally saw a naughty photo of me or copped a feel: that would make me as bad as that bastard Ryoga. I need to know who did what so I can punish those responsible."

"What did the Amazons do?"

"They convinced me to wait and see who knew and did what. That if I manipulated those that thought that they were smarter than me, then my revenge would be so much sweeter."

"I bet they said that to save themselves," Ukyo groused at the sneakiness of foreigners.

"They did confess to trying to save Shampoo and Cologne, but because I'd calmed down a bit after being cured and punishing Mousse, I saw the other reason for not charging in like some bloodthirsty maniac: that I might hurt someone innocent. That's the reason why I didn't come back sooner and kill you all."

"Thanks," was Ukyo's stunned reply.

"You're welcome, Ucchan. Now phone up the school, I'll be back before lunchtime."

* * *

An invisible Ranma slipped out the back door of the Ucchan and leapt up to the rooftops of Ukyo's neighbourhood. Ignoring the strange feeling of being back in Nerima, even though it was his home town for the longest time since his early childhood, the orphaned young man made his way to the Tendo dojo.

On his way there, he noticed the lack of property damage to the surrounding area and felt a twinge of guilt about all the havoc that followed him to this relatively quiet area of Tokyo. When he arrived at the dojo, he recalled just how much of the trouble had been stirred up by others, Nabiki in particular.

Ranma leapt to the dojo roof, still using one of his father's own techniques. He looked around for evidence of occupants; upon seeing none, he snuck in via an open kitchen window.

Not wanting to take any chances, Ranma not only remained under the cloak on the Umi-sen-ken hidden from view, but did his best to keep to the shadows and blind spots of the house as he started his cursory search for evidence.

Deciding that the best place to look would be Nabiki's room, Ranma slid up the door and tried the handle. When it was found to be unlocked, Ranma paused.

Did this mean that Nabiki was so confident that no one would suspect her, that she felt that she didn't need to lock her own room? Or was it a trap, designed to catch and discredit any who thought that the "sweet and innocent" Tendo daughters could do no wrong?

Taking a deep breath, Ranma opened the door enough to slip in and closed it behind him.

Nabiki's room hadn't changed much since the last time Ranma had caught a glimpse of the inside. The only major change was a new looking CD player a small pile of recently released CDs.

Utilising the hidden weapons technique of the blind idiot Mousse, Ranma pulled out a Polaroid camera and took photos to help him get everything back as it was. Satisfied that he'd be able to restore the room, Ranma began his search for the middle Tendo girl's diary.

It took a while, but Ranma managed to locate a hollowed book that contained a set of keys. Searching for a few minutes more, Ranma found a lockable box hidden under the bed.

'Jackpot,' he said to himself.

Trying the keys as they rested on the ring, Ranma found that the third one along opened the box and made a mould with some soap he had borrowed from Ucchan's bathroom.

Opening the box revealed a bank book for an account in the name of Nabiki Tendo, some photos of his girl side, a small amount of cash. Ranma assumed that the pictures were for emergencies.

When he looked at the most recent balance, Ranma was a little stunned to see a mid seven figure sum staring back at him. He quickly brought his camera round to get clear shots of this evidence before packing it away.

His father's less than honourable actions of the past were now proving useful, much to Ranma's distaste.

Still lacking the "smoking gun" as many TV detectives put it, Ranma continued to investigate the room for Nabiki's diary, in the hope that it would tell who to cripple and who to just beat the shit out of.

He turned to the chest of drawers and started open the top drawer. Still not wanting to tempt fate, he did this gently to reduce any noise. He decided that Nabiki would be too smart to tempt fate with a degenerate pervert in the house to hide the journal of her inner most secrets in her underwear drawer. Ranma searched for the elusive book in the drawers that had t-shirts and jeans in them, but found nothing.

When he looked at the alarm clock, the improper occupier of the room saw that it was nearly time to leave in order to discuss things with Ukyo. Ranma, deciding that he could always come back, gathered all of the instant photos and reset the room as it was prior to his entrance.

* * *

Ranma entered Ucchan's via the tradesman's entrance. He called out to Ukyo, not wanting to scare the girl any more than he had already since his return to Nerima.

"Hi Ranchan," the chef replied, looking up from the bowl of okonomiyaki batter she had been mixing up for lunch. "What'd you find out?"

"Not as much as I'd hoped," Ranma answered, scratching the base of his pigtail in frustration.

"Oh well, let's eat and while you tell me about everything that you found," Ukyo suggested after finishing up the batter. "You want anything in particular?"

"Teriyaki-style beef sounds good, if you've got it."

Ukyo checked the fridge and pulled out the container with the remainder of the flavoured meat. "You're in luck, I've got just enough for a Ranchan-sized portion."

Ranma smiled. "Thanks, Ucchan."

As Ukyo dished up lunch, Ranma pulled out the photos of his first visit to the Tendos in a while.

"Here Ucchan, what do you make of this?" Ranma handed his host the shot of the CD player. "I don't remember her having anything that looked like this when I was there."

Ukyo appraised the hi-fi equipment as best she could, consumer electronics not being her forte and all. "It looks like it's expensive."

The player in question was a sleek design, silver in colour with separate elevated sections each for the CD & MD players and the digital radio. Judging by the size of the speakers, the whole package was either a "cheap and cheerful" budget model or a high quality system for those with a good ear, but not much space.

From Ranma's experience, Nabiki enjoyed the finer things in life, so the latter option seemed more likely.

"Well, I know that she's got some money squirreled away," Ranma, now three quarters of the way through his meal, showed Ukyo the photo of the bank book.

Ukyo choked when she saw the amount in the account – it was more than the Ucchan's made in a quarter.

When Ranma saw chef start to gasp for air, he leapt around the table and performed the Heimlich manoeuvre. When the food was dislodged, Ranma asked if his friend was ok.

"I will be, Ranchan." Ukyo unconsciously took advantage of being in Ranma's arms and leant back against his chest. "Hmm."

"Still trying to take advantage of me?" Ranma teased. "I thought that you weren't that kind of girl, Ucchan."

Ukyo leapt out of the half-embrace in shock.

"Sorry, Ranchan, I didn't mean to do that," Ukyo apologised.

Ranma decided that he couldn't let that go without at least a little bit of teasing/ego stroking. "It was just that you were taken in by my manly presence and just had to make a play for the studly martial artist, right?"

Ukyo's face turned scarlet at Ranma's suggestion. Then a thought occurred to her. "I noticed that you were quick to wrap your arms around me," she said with a smile on her face.

Ranma was lost for words for a moment. After a brief koi impression, he burst out in laughter.

* * *

At the same time Ranma finished his early lunch, Kasumi returned from her morning shopping excursion. As she put the groceries away, she noticed that something seemed off about the open window.

"That's odd," she mused. "I thought that I'd closed that window more."

Putting those thoughts from her mind, she went about preparing lunch for her father and herself.

* * *

To be continued…

This chapter was pre-read and given a "Meh" of "approval" by the following people: Chi Vayne, Taxzombie and Ghost in the Machine.

If you have anything that you wish to comment on, then feel free to drop me a line.

You all should know how to contact me by now.


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